Do Not Love: Interviews

I know there isn’t really a way to avoid the typical interview in this day and age, but I just really, really don’t like what they entail (or I guess, what they’ve become) and just don’t see much of a point to them. I think of them in the same way I think of standardized tests — people become so obsessed with training and preparing TO the questions that most of the answers end up coming off as boring, rehearsed bullshit, and in the end what the interview process really says about you is how good you are AT interviews, and NONE of us are interviewing for a job as an interviewee, right?

See? The above just makes a lot more sense to me!

See? The above just makes a lot more sense to me!

Not to mention that every interviewer is obviously different and probably prefers a different answer or STYLE of answer than the one sitting next to him or her, making the whole process all the more nerve-wrecking and exhausting.  Yes, you are there to sell yourself. Yes, some of the “behavioral” questions they ask make some sense and might actually elicit informative, self-revealing answers from you, but a lot of the typical questions are just as useless as nipples on a human male.

This attitude that interviews are a structured “test” that a candidate must specifically study and prepare for in order to “pass” just promotes this idea that it’s not OK to be yourself and it’s more important to “say the right thing” than to say the honest thing. What are my five greatest weaknesses, you say? Well, I can tell you what they’re not — they’re not going to be anything major that will even remotely affect my performance in this job because, after all, every single article and book I have read to prepare for this exact moment has warned me about being too honest with this question. Oh, any by the way, I am working on all my “weaknesses” and have improved greatly in all of them! (note: that was sarcasm).

I understand that this is just the way the business world has evolved. I accept it and I prepare for it and I am even perhaps somewhat (dare I say?) good at it. But listen, I’m a human being and you’re a human being and I would just so love and prefer to have a conversation with you as we both decide if I am a good match for this job — a REAL conversation. I would love to talk about the projects I’ve worked on, the courses I’ve taken, the challenges I’ve faced, the mistakes I’ve made, the things I care about and I would be more than happy to answer all and any questions that may come up during that discussion. But when you come in here with some very specific, pre-defined questions taken straight from “101 Great Answers to the Toughest Interview Questions you are creating a very specific, constrained environment and, in turn, you will receive a very specific, constrained version of me.

So, in summary — I do NOT love: the current interview